You might want to celebrate your friends, but the high-speed ‘wedding factory’ setting and unique cultural norms—from the cash gift protocol to the dress code—can be incredibly daunting.
This definitive guide breaks down every essential etiquette rule for expats. By the end, you’ll know exactly what to wear, how much money to give, where to go, and how to enjoy the celebration without committing any cultural faux pas.
1. Mastering the Dress Code (What to Wear, What to Avoid)
For many expats, the first point of stress is what to wear. Korean wedding attire is formal, but not always black tie formal. Think business professional with a celebratory twist.
For men, a clean suit, tie, and polished shoes are the safe and expected choice. Darker colors like navy, charcoal, or black are standard. Avoid wearing extremely loud or casual patterns.
For women, the options are more varied but come with a strict warning. You should opt for a modest, knee-length or midi-dress, or a nice suit/pantsuit. The key is balance: respectful but not attention-grabbing.
The absolute, non-negotiable rule is to avoid white. This is a red line in Korean wedding culture. The bride is the only person who should wear white, and wearing any white dress—even one with a pattern—will draw unwanted looks.
Locals actually prefer muted tones like soft blue, gray, beige, or even black. If you wear black, ensure you accessorize with a pop of color (a bright scarf, a colored belt, or jewelry) so you don’t look like you’re attending a funeral.
Also, while it’s becoming slightly more common, extremely revealing clothing or very high heels (that make you tower over the wedding party) are generally frowned upon, especially if the ceremony involves older family members.
2. The Money Protocol (Chook-uigeum, 축의금)
In Korea, cash is the standard wedding gift, known as Cheuk-uigeum. The act of giving money is a vital form of support to the newly formed family, often helping to offset the high costs of starting a life together. This process is structured and efficient.
You must use a clean, crisp, white envelope. Do not use a colored envelope or one with decorations. You can easily purchase these envelopes (usually labeled ‘축의금’) at any stationery store (Munbanggu) or sometimes right at the wedding hall reception desk.
On the front of the envelope, you should write the Hanja character ‘祝’ (chook, meaning celebration) or the Hangul ‘축의금’ (chook-uigeum). On the back, in the bottom left corner, clearly write your name (in English is fine) so the couple knows who to thank later.
The Money Amount: Specific KRW Guidelines
The amount you give is based on your relationship with the couple and whether you plan to eat the meal (which is factored into the couple’s cost). The traditional amount follows a sequence of odd-numbered denominations, as even numbers were historically reserved for funerals.
- 50,000 KRW: The absolute minimum for casual acquaintances, coworkers you don’t know well, or someone you feel obligated to attend for.
- 70,000 KRW: A common amount for a friend who you see occasionally, or if you are attending with a date but your budget is tight.
- 100,000 KRW: The modern standard for close friends, former classmates, or anyone whose wedding you’ve been invited to. This amount is seen as a solid sign of support.
- 150,000 KRW – 200,000 KRW+: Reserved for very close friends, siblings, or family members.
Tip: If you choose 100,000 KRW, it is acceptable even though it’s an even number because 10 (ten) is considered a complete, auspicious number.
3. Navigating the ‘Wedding Factory’ Experience
In large cities like Seoul (especially in districts like Gangnam or Yeouido), most weddings occur in specialized wedding halls. These are often described as “wedding factories” due to their incredible efficiency: a ceremony, reception, and photo session can be completed in as little as 60-90 minutes.
The Swift Arrival and Gift Desk
Upon arrival, look for the reception table (usually labeled ‘신랑측’ for the groom’s side and ‘신부측’ for the bride’s side). You should line up at the desk for the person who invited you. This is your first official stop.
Hand your white envelope to the family member or friend staffing the desk. They will open it, count the money, record your name and the amount in the ledger, and provide you with a meal ticket (식권, sikgwon).
There is typically no time for a long chat with the staff. A brief, polite, ‘축하합니다’ (Chook-ha-ham-ni-da – Congratulations) and a quick bow are all that’s required.
The Ceremony and Photo Session
The ceremony itself is often short—sometimes as brief as 20 minutes. Guests often arrive 10-15 minutes before the stated time, but it’s normal for people to trickle in throughout the ceremony, standing at the back of the hall.
After the main vows, the couple will stand on the stage for a group photo session. This is where things can get confusing for foreigners. The photographer will call for specific groups:
- Family (only)
- The couple’s closest friends
- High school/University friends
- Expat/Work colleagues
If you are included in a photo group, follow the usher’s direction, snap the photo quickly, and move out of the way. If you are not in a photo group, it is polite to stand and applaud briefly, but then you should immediately proceed to the dining hall.
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4. Food, Departures, and The Pyebaek Ceremony
The reception typically takes place in a separate room, usually a grand buffet hall or sometimes a Korean-style set meal. Your meal ticket (sikgwon) is essential here. You only get access to the food if you have submitted your Cheuk-uigeum (축의금) or are a family member.
The buffet is a fantastic, fast, and high-quality meal. Unlike Western receptions where guests linger for hours, the goal here is to eat and depart quickly to make room for the next wedding party waiting to use the venue.
Do not feel obligated to stay for a long time after finishing your meal. In my experience, showing up, presenting the gift money, watching the ceremony, and having the meal is a complete and fulfilling gesture. There is no requirement to wait for the couple to finish their private photos or change outfits.
The Pyebaek: The Private Ceremony
After the main ceremony, some guests may be called to witness the Pyebaek (폐백), the traditional formal bows and greetings to the groom’s parents. This is a highly intimate, cultural moment.
As an expat guest, you should assume you are NOT invited to the Pyebaek. Unless the couple specifically tells you where and when to attend this part, it is best to simply proceed to the dining hall or depart the venue.
Korean vs. Western Wedding Checklist
To help visualize the key differences and prevent anxiety, here is a quick comparison of the major points.
| Element | Western (Typical) | Korean (Wedding Hall) |
|---|---|---|
| Invitation/RSVP | Formal, mandatory RSVP by mail/link. | Informal, no RSVP needed; attendance is tracked by cash gift. |
| Gift Type | Registry items, experiential gifts, or small cash gift. | Mandatory Cash Gift (Cheuk-uigeum) in a white envelope. |
| Venue & Time | Single venue; 4-8 hours with dancing and open bar. | Wedding Hall; Ceremony + Meal takes 1-2 hours max. |
| The Meal | Plated dinner, speeches, dessert. | Large, high-quality buffet in a separate hall. |
Ultimately, while the process may seem transactional, the underlying value is sincerity and support. Your friends are simply honored that you took the time to celebrate their union and follow their traditions.
Follow these steps, be respectful of the quick timeline, and you will navigate the Korean wedding experience like a seasoned local. Congratulations!
Frequently Asked Questions
How much money should I give as Cheuk-uigeum (gift money) at a Korean wedding?
The standard minimum is 50,000 KRW for acquaintances, 70,000 KRW if you are a closer friend or attending with a date, and 100,000 KRW or more for close friends, family, or if you plan to eat the meal (buffet). The key is to use odd numbers (or numbers divisible by 10) like 50,000, 70,000, or 100,000 KRW. Always use crisp, clean bills and place them in a clean white envelope.
As an expat, what colors should I absolutely avoid wearing to a Korean wedding?
The most important rule is to never wear white. This color is exclusively reserved for the bride. It’s also wise to avoid colors that are too bright, sparkly, or ostentatious. Muted pastels, navy, gray, and black (with a color accent) are always safe choices for both men and women.
Do I need to RSVP for a Korean wedding?
Unlike Western weddings, formal RSVPing is rare. The ‘RSVP’ is effectively done when you arrive at the wedding hall and give your Chook-uigeum (gift money) at the reception desk, which is how the couple tracks attendance and meal numbers. Simply show up on time for the ceremony window and bring your gift.
What is the Pyebaek ceremony, and should I, as a non-Korean guest, attend it?
The Pyebaek (폐백) is a traditional, intimate ceremony where the bride formally greets the groom’s family. You should generally not attend the Pyebaek unless you are specifically invited by a very close friend or family member. It is typically a private event for the two families.
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